Monday, April 20, 2009

My Thesis: The Last Lap

Hello all,

Right now I should be tackling yet another rewrite of my Sons of Anarchy (SOA) spec script. I took a look at it during my lunch and finally made it through to the end. It was grueling. I can't believe all the typos and missed words I had....hot mess. And although I know I'm in my last lap, for some reason I feel the need to pass the baton, however, no one is on the receiving end. I'm tired. Tired of reading, rewriting, reading some more, and so on and so on.

Despite the fatigue I feel at the moment, I can truly say I'm amazed that I'm here. I started the Western Connecticut's Professional Writing MFA program two and a half years ago and the end is almost near. I go through periods of excitement and then moments of blah (my current momentis blah). I think I'm a little blah right now because I know writing is work. Like most things in life, in order to excel at it, one has to stay at it and not become complacent.

A couple of weeks ago I stayed home and cranked out my first draft of SOA. It totally drained me but I did it, even though it took me a lot longer than I anticipated. I was freaking myself out over my treatment, the characters, and the story's arc amongst other things. I finally finished rereading my first draft and realize that I still have a lot of work to do to streamline the story. Am I dreading the work, yes, but it is still work I have to do. Not only does my degree depend on it, it's about my future as a screenwriter. I have to have the will and tenacity to follow through my projects.

This helped to pick me up. Now, I have to ground myself. I'm in the final stages, racing against the clock. My last lap has begun. I hope to finish strong.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Could of, Would of, Should of,

Hello all,

I should be sleeping. I have to be up in less than 6 hours, but since my weekend lock down also known as ass in chair or for the PC crowd AIC, I'm suffering from bouts of insomnia. I want to sleep by just can't. I guess that happens when you write for 8 hours at a time (with little sleep in between) after a day and a half of writer's block. Well, at least I got my first draft done. That is a major accomplishment.

That's not what I really wanted to talk about. I'll save it for another blog entitled, "The Reward is in the Work."

Last Thursday, I was walking home from work like I usually do at around 5.pm. and I was making my way through some folks that had just got off the city bus. I little girl caught me eyes. She was being pushed in a stroller and was crying up a storm. I know it's common to see kids crying with their parents, but there was something sadly different about this case. The little girl, who I say was either two or three was being really stubborn and holding her feet so her mom couldn't push her. The mother was no doubt frustrated, I probably would be to. But the mother's reaction to her child set me back. The mother told the daughter to "stop acting like a fucking asshole." My apologizes for the foul language, but I feel I need to write to get that image out there.

I'm not sure how old the mother was, but my guess is that she wasn't over 30. When I heard her comment to her daughter I stopped, I couldn't believe what I heard. It's bad enough when adults talk that way to one another, but to hear a parent talk that way to a child, a small toddler, threw me for a loop. I thought to myself what chance does that kid have if that's how she is being spoken to at such an early age. It doesn't take a scientist to know that human beings are creatures of habit and that we learn from those around us. If our settings are negative, more than likely our behaviors will be as well.

For the smokers out there who don't what their kids to smoke, studies show that kids with parents who smoke are more likely to try it then kids who have parents who don't smoke. It's not be because they don't know the facts about smoking being unhealthy, they will try smoking because the have seen their parents smoke and it is an accepted behavior. Our young people really pick up on the good and bad things we do. That's really scary. I feel for the parents out there.

This episode is still on my mind at 12:58 a.m. because when I heard the mother's words to her daughter I wanted to say something and I didn't. I took the stand that it is not my problem and kept walking. I've played the episode back in my mind at least a dozen times, I think I should have said something. I could have said, "Excuse me, but I don't think you should use that language with you daughter." I know, I would be getting cursed out next, but at least she would have had someone tell her that her behavior with her daughter was wrong. I would have taken a stand for the sake of the child. Maybe it could have been the first step of acknowledging her anger management issues. I realize I pose a lot of what ifs, but I can't help but think I could have done something more.

Our society tends to look the other way on a lot of issues. It's not our problem or that's not my business. It's not our business that Madonna got rejected from her Malawi adoption or that Jennifer Aniston broke up with John Mayer, but we still read it. I'm sure we've all seen the TV segments on The Today Show, or Good Morning American, when they show people committing crimes and 8 out of 10 people do nothing and go about their day. We are so desensitized by the crazy and hectic world around us.

I know I can't save the world, but I believe I can make a difference in the lives of individuals. Next time, I see something wrong and if it doesn't show the potential to put my life in danger, I don't want to have the regret of saying could of, would of, should of.

Night or should I say morning.