Monday, April 6, 2009

Could of, Would of, Should of,

Hello all,

I should be sleeping. I have to be up in less than 6 hours, but since my weekend lock down also known as ass in chair or for the PC crowd AIC, I'm suffering from bouts of insomnia. I want to sleep by just can't. I guess that happens when you write for 8 hours at a time (with little sleep in between) after a day and a half of writer's block. Well, at least I got my first draft done. That is a major accomplishment.

That's not what I really wanted to talk about. I'll save it for another blog entitled, "The Reward is in the Work."

Last Thursday, I was walking home from work like I usually do at around and I was making my way through some folks that had just got off the city bus. I little girl caught me eyes. She was being pushed in a stroller and was crying up a storm. I know it's common to see kids crying with their parents, but there was something sadly different about this case. The little girl, who I say was either two or three was being really stubborn and holding her feet so her mom couldn't push her. The mother was no doubt frustrated, I probably would be to. But the mother's reaction to her child set me back. The mother told the daughter to "stop acting like a fucking asshole." My apologizes for the foul language, but I feel I need to write to get that image out there.

I'm not sure how old the mother was, but my guess is that she wasn't over 30. When I heard her comment to her daughter I stopped, I couldn't believe what I heard. It's bad enough when adults talk that way to one another, but to hear a parent talk that way to a child, a small toddler, threw me for a loop. I thought to myself what chance does that kid have if that's how she is being spoken to at such an early age. It doesn't take a scientist to know that human beings are creatures of habit and that we learn from those around us. If our settings are negative, more than likely our behaviors will be as well.

For the smokers out there who don't what their kids to smoke, studies show that kids with parents who smoke are more likely to try it then kids who have parents who don't smoke. It's not be because they don't know the facts about smoking being unhealthy, they will try smoking because the have seen their parents smoke and it is an accepted behavior. Our young people really pick up on the good and bad things we do. That's really scary. I feel for the parents out there.

This episode is still on my mind at 12:58 a.m. because when I heard the mother's words to her daughter I wanted to say something and I didn't. I took the stand that it is not my problem and kept walking. I've played the episode back in my mind at least a dozen times, I think I should have said something. I could have said, "Excuse me, but I don't think you should use that language with you daughter." I know, I would be getting cursed out next, but at least she would have had someone tell her that her behavior with her daughter was wrong. I would have taken a stand for the sake of the child. Maybe it could have been the first step of acknowledging her anger management issues. I realize I pose a lot of what ifs, but I can't help but think I could have done something more.

Our society tends to look the other way on a lot of issues. It's not our problem or that's not my business. It's not our business that Madonna got rejected from her Malawi adoption or that Jennifer Aniston broke up with John Mayer, but we still read it. I'm sure we've all seen the TV segments on The Today Show, or Good Morning American, when they show people committing crimes and 8 out of 10 people do nothing and go about their day. We are so desensitized by the crazy and hectic world around us.

I know I can't save the world, but I believe I can make a difference in the lives of individuals. Next time, I see something wrong and if it doesn't show the potential to put my life in danger, I don't want to have the regret of saying could of, would of, should of.

Night or should I say morning.


skybynature said...

I totally agree with you on this one. I can be a very passive person sometimes so it actually has to take a concious effort for me to actually take a stand for something. I think standing up for others is the right thing to do. I mean if we were experiencing injustice wouldn't we hope that a stranger would stand up for us. In the same way we should stand up for others.

ACW said...

I, too, believe each person's little difference can add up to big differences. Sadly, I'm not sure that you're saying something would have made a difference in this case. This most likely was much more deeply rooted in other things than the frustrations of motherhood or a bad day. Your more powerful response is to continue living your life with strong values on display through your actions. As a parent I believe teaching values to our children is one of the greatest gifts we share. It starts with the littlest things, not swearing or hitting, but finding a trash can for that happy meal box or holding a day open for someone or randomly lending a helping hand. We can make a difference every moment of every day if we just pay attention and live by our values.

Mad4Plaid said...

Yeah, suck, I have been out there watching people driving with out a license to parent. All we can do is be a good example and if the child is in danger call child protective services or sadly the non emergency police #. We are powerless when we watch parents who are not in a place to be good parents. If you can catch the parents eye and make contact. Say 'Wow' or 'Really'? I know it seems passive but if it makes them think later like you have been thinking you will have made a small difference without endangering yourself.

Aaliyah said...

Thanks for the wonderful feedback. It was a tough call to make and in the future if I see something wrong I will be more inclinded to stand up for the person.

I think what we do for the not so important people in the world far out ways what we do for the important people in it.

ka said...

If I'm with you I'll say something. I normally do in those kinds of instances.